Why does it always feel like we are never quite like we used to be with the Lord? I have been hearing so much lately at church, in my my quiet time, and at work about getting back to where I used to be in the Lord...striving to be the person I used to be, wanting to be that person....wanting to find that first excitement I had with the Lord when I first realized there is more to being a Christian than going to church, youth group, and praying the prayer of salvation. I can remember clearly that time in college when I realized there was something about my friends that I didn't quite have, and I wanted it so bad. I wanted to be like those friends who worship the Lord constantly not just at church or on Wednesday nights. I wanted to be able to share with whoever I came in contact with. I wanted to be that friend that others wondered what was different about me and wanted to have what I had in the Lord. I wanted to be able to share that passion just by the way I lived my life. I remember that moment that changed my life...that moment I went through with getting baptized again in a muddy cow pond out in the woods with way more people than I expected to be there and that scared feeling of everyone watching me...almost backing out because of there being so many people there, but I remember deciding to make that decision final and doing it. Sometimes we are nervous about something or scared. I know my fear of being in front of large groups of people have stopped me several times from going on and doing what I know I am supposed to do, but God puts us in certain situations at certain times in our lives for a purpose and for a reason. You may not know why at the time, but eventually that time will come when you will know the impact you made on someone eternity. I remember thinking that night, "I am not letting my life be the same when I leave here. I am going to serve the Lord like I never served him before. I am going to change my life for the better...for Him!" And as I look back over the past 5 to 8 years, I realized how much I have changed. I remember getting into the Bible...and understanding what I was reading. I remember those days, I didn't want to put my Bible down. I remember giving up on dating for a year and growing in the Lord like I never had before. I can remember how easy it was to share with others my beliefs and how I made that commitment to Him to never let a guy come between me and the Lord again. I wanted to love Him and spend just as much time with the Lord as I did the guy I was dating and that's what I did; however, here lately, I don't feel like I used to. I don't feel that passion for Christ like I did at that particular time in my life. I was involved in my church and loved every minute of it. I remember youth trips and outings, livewire trips and outings, helping with children's church, and being involved in the woman's ministry and even the excitement of planning for those ministries. Oh how much I enjoyed those moments. I can't wait til I get that passion back. I want so bad to be involved in a church again and become an active Christian. I love how certain sermons can speak to you so much and how everything in your life start revolving around that sermon and saying to you the same thing.
I have been reading Amos in my quiet time...a book in the Bible I have never read completely before because I felt like it never spoke to me, and I couldn't get anything out of it. I finished the book today and realized there is so much in there that has spoke to me. In Chapter 5, I read, "Come back to the Lord and live." I read this right after I heard the message at church about finding that first love and wow did it hit home. It's crazy how God uses a small portion of His Word to remind us what we have previously heard. That's not all. God has really been dealing with me in Amos. He used Amos' life to remind me of how I used to be. Amos raised sheep, not an easy job to do for God, but Amos was still used by God for a purpose. Our jobs may not always feel like a place for worshiping Him and sharing the Good News, but it can be a vital place to be used by Him if you are in the place God wants you to be. God can use YOU no matter how ordinary your job may seem. I work in a Christian school where I get that opportunity daily and even hourly to share as much as I want with my students, but sometimes let those moments slip by. I have made that promise to myself and to the Lord to try my best to use every moment he gives me and to be excited for Him and to share His Word again. Have you grown complacent in your walk with the Lord and let other concerns that have taken place in your life come first? I know I have. I love how God can use any situation and any person to do His will. He used a shepherd, Amos, for a particular purpose, and still uses Amos' life to speak to us today. We need to be willing to listen for his call and do what he says and go where ever he leads. I'm up for the challenge....are you?!?! Don't just attend church, read His Word, help the needy, tithe, etc. just as something to check off your list or because you are supposed to. Do it because your heart is in it. Do as your heart leads. I like how our pastor said, Don't read a chapter because you have to get a chapter in. Read until you get tired. Before you open your Bible, pray over it. Pray that God will speak to you through His Word. Pray that you will get something out of it. If you read one verse and feel your heart is in not in it, stop reading and pray for God to speak to you through that verse and that you will get out of that verse what he says through it. I have changed my outlook on reading the Bible and God is once again speaking to me through His Word. I feel like I am reading for a purpose again. One day we will meet God and be held accountable for our life...my mom and I was talking about this yesterday. God says on that day, (Chapter 2) even the most courageous men will drop their weapons and run. (Even the toughest people will fear him on that day.) I know so many people who go through life thinking, they do not need Him or don't take that moment to stop and pray for help. Even I fall into those life routines when I sometimes forget to stop and look to him for an answer or to help find something I may have lost, or to help my students stop the chattering on those long days when nothing seems to work with them. It's those times when we need to look to him for help. So many of us today, me included, think we can do everything on our own and that we don't need the help in fear of we want it done our way and not someone else's way. Sometimes we think if we ask for help, it will be done wrong, but those are the times God is calling us and we aren't answering our phones. He is wanting us to stop and remember Him, but sometimes we are too busy. Reading Amos made me stop and evaluate my own life and though I am right with the Lord and plan on spending eternity with him when that day comes, I still have parts of my life I need to evaluate and get right with the Lord. Sometimes sinful practices become a way of life. Ignoring or denying these issues won't make them go away. (Chapter 1-2) We need to give them up to the Lord and really pray to overcome these obstacles in our lives that are keeping us from being the person we were made to be.
I pray right now that I can be that person, Lord....that person you made me to be. Lord, I don't want to miss a beat of my life not following those plans you have for me. I pray that I can overcome these obstacles in my life that are keeping me from being the person you have made me to be. I pray that those wrongs in my life, I will be convicted about and that I will strive to be more like you and the way you made me. I pray that I will use every opportunity and not let a single one slip through my fingers. Use me, Lord. Use me. Use me for your purpose and for your plan for my life. Use me in my classroom, with my family, at home, out in public, Lord, at my church...use me Lord. Use me in the way you have fit for my life. Use me like you did Amos. Help me to touch others lives and to remind them of your power and your will for their lives. I pray Lord for those people in my life right now...that you can use them to be courageous and not afraid to speak up for you as well as me Lord. I pray that not only I get that first love back for you, but that we all can...that we all can be used by you for the purpose you have made us. Lord, you have a reason for my life and I pray that I can be used for that purpose. Show all of us Lord your way. Help us to walk in the right direction. Guide our every steps, Lord. Help each step I take, each word I say, be a step closer, a word closer to glorifying you Lord. I pray that each person that reads this will be touched by you Lord and that each person will be able to find that first love they once had with you. And that if they haven't found that first love, Lord that you will put others into their lives that will be an eye opener for them, like my college friends were for me Lord. I pray that they will see someone and say, "There is something different about that person and I want to be like that." Lord I pray this prayer Lord and that everyone that is supposed to hear you speak to them will and that you can not only use me, but all you have you planned to hear this message and want that back. I know when I hear this message at church, I wanted it back more than ever and God I believe you are getting me back to that point day by day slowly but I know with your help nothing is impossible Lord and you showed me that through a simple story at work...if you could use Helen Keller Lord to be such an inspiration for my life and I am sure for the lives of my students and others who read her story, you can use me and you can use anyone Lord because "nothing Lord is impossible with you". Lord that is the verse that I have strive to instill in my students this year and I pray that before they leave my class, they will not only know that verse but that they will BELIEVE that verse with all their heart. Lord I pray that not a single one of my students will leave my classroom not knowing that they "can do all things through you Lord." I pray that they believe through you that if they set their heart to it that they will believe that "all things really are possible with you Lord." No matter how hard something may seem for them, they can accomplish it through you. They can, Lord! I can, Lord. I have made it this far, Lord and it has been a tough year Lord, but you knew it would be. You knew you had me in that place at that time for a reason. Lord you have given me a reason to teach. You have a purpose for my life. You know that my passion and heart to change even one student's life is the reason I went into teaching and I pray Lord now that you put me into this private, Christian setting that you will use me Lord not to change just one student's life but that you will use me to change thousands of students' lives, or even all the students that step into my class. Lord I want to be used by you like I've never been used by you before. Lord I want to be intentional about including you into all of my plans. I know Lord that is easier said than done, but Lord I thank you for my principal's prayer of taking that stress off of us and allowing us to enjoy this time. For the first time this year, I have gained back my excitement for teaching and my reason for teaching. Lord I thank you for giving me that passion to be that teacher I was called to be. Lord, I pray that the rest of this year won't go to waste, but that I will instill in my students all that I am supposed too...don't let a single day, a single hour, a single moment to slip through my fingers Lord. I want to be used by you this year, this day, this moment and I know you will use me and you will use me in a way that I am passionate about. Thank you Lord for that passion again, for the joy of children in my life, for the funny moments, the serious moments, the love for teaching Lord is your will for not only my life, but for millions. Lord I pray that each person you have set for your purpose will be on fire for that purpose that you have planned. Lord you are my all and I pray for that passion for you to be there like it never has been before. I pray for my relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and Jason Lord that your will will be done. You have a reason for each of those people being in my life Lord and I pray that you will use them to open up my eyes and to show me what they are supposed to show me, but also that you will open up their eyes to what you have me to show them. Lord take the stress of wedding planning, lesson planning, and life in general off of me and help me to enjoy these moments now Lord before they slip through my fingers. Lord help me to enjoy every moment as if it's my last. Help me Lord to be used by you and to remember you each and every day, each and every hour, each and every moment and minute. Lord help me not to take life for granted but to savor every moment. You are the reason for every season even cold, stuck in doors days when life seems so blah and all I want is to be outdoors to see your beauty. The truth is Lord you can use even seasons like today. And I never took the moment to thank you for answering my prayer about having a warm weekend. Thank you Lord. You put the joy back in my life and in my heart! I love you. Lord!
No comments:
Post a Comment