A New Year...A Year Of Looking Back

As part of my new years resolution, I decided to go back to old journals and reread verses and chapters that stood out to me when I first started being on fire for God. I want that passion back. I want that passion to bounce off me onto my children, my husband, my friends, my other family members and even my enemies and those I don't know.  So here's to a new year of looking back to that time, right before I was baptized as well as right after... when I was a college student trying to figure out where I belong, who I was in Christ...a place when I first started making my own life decisions and the way I felt led to lead my life. Those days I really became involved in my church at the time and felt led to helping with youth groups, college groups, and mission work. Those were the days I was truly on fire for God and truly knew what it meant to be in a relationship with Christ, not just accepting him into my life and letting him sit there while I ran my life however I wanted. Those were the days, I realized I wanted God a part of my life for real. I wanted him to not just be a part of my life but rather be my life.  I feel over the years, I have slowly lost that passion... then it comes back for awhile and slowly drifts away again.  I want that passion I had in college to come back to stay.  This is the year, I feel it can, and I'm going to do all I can to keep it that way!

Tonight I read Matthew 26-27. These were two of the first chapters I ever started journaling about when I received a journal from a close friend in college for my birthday to go with a book she bought me. She said she felt I could use the journal to wrote out prayers and thoughts from the book.  I wrote below her note "I will record everything in this journal; my thoughts, my goals, my experiences, events, and verses that are speaking to me and even my prayers.  (When I started keeping a prayer/scripture journal, I felt God really worked in my heart; therefore, plan to use my blog as my personal journal to write what God is saying to me.) I want that passion back and this is how I feel will help me do just that.

These chapters talked about all the things Jesus went through. He was spit on, mocked, insulted, betrayed... but he still asked God to forgive these people.  He never once got angry and try to defend himself; he did not hit or spit back.  Instead he did nothing. He prayed.  He even asked God to forgive those who have done wrong to him.  Sometimes, we need to do nothing... doing nothing gives us time to stop and pray.  That may give us an answer as to what we should do in times of feeling betrayed, hurt, or upset.